Monday, March 31, 2008

Memory Monday...

**** Names Changed to protect the innocent***

I had a good friend, we'll call him Chris. We were great friends...had been for a while...had a lot in common, tied together with a love of music. Chris once told me that he couldn't be friends with girls...well, because he was a guy and well...friendships with girls just didn't ever work out. I paid no nevermind...a friend is a friend, gender was not an issue. day, Chris saw a friend of mine for the first time, and wanted to meet her. This friend was not a particularly nice person to everyone. I could tolerate her because I knew that she was a good person, but she just wasn't very kind to certain people. Her name was Alice. Alice was tall and lanky. She was fairly nice looking. Now Chris...he was not a skinny guy. He was short and dumpy...he had some really nice features, like his eyes and smile. When I mentioned to Alice the Chris would like to meet her, Alice made snide comments about Chris' weight. Nevertheless, I introduced them. I DID let Chris know that Alice could be mean, and to be prepared for it.

Alice and Chris started dating. In the meantime, a relationship I'd been in was falling apart. Chris was quite upset about it; Alice was good friends with my guy and he felt that if I broke up with my guy, that Alice would dump him. But I had told Chris it wasn't working out and I wanted to get out of this relationship. Chris kept at me to try and work it out, but I didn't feel there was enough to hold it together. We eventually split up.

Alice and Chris managed to stay together. And I was still friends with the guy I'd broken up with. One day we ran into each other and talked a bit. He mentioned that he'd been out with friends and ran into Alice. I asked if Chris was with her. He said no, Alice was alone, so my ex had asked about Chris. And apparently Alice had been pretty cruel regarding Chris...she was vicious about his weight, and said pretty much all he was good for was "a good time", and that there was no way she'd ever consider marrying Chris...but she was biding her time till someone better came along.

Well...all hell broke loose after that. We were at a party when Chris cornered me and verbally attacked me, telling me to stay out of his business and what right did I have to ask why he wasn't with Alice, etc, etc. I got told off but GOOD.

I figured it out later on. My ex had mentioned to Alice about our conversation...and in an effort to save HER face, she told lies to Chris about what had been said. Not that Chris would have listened to me even if I'd had proof of what Alice had said about him. No....I was the odd man out. Chris started a vicious rumor that while I was with my ex, I cheated on him with HIS brother Gary. Gary and I were friends, and bless his heart, he managed to ignore his big brother and keep me as his friend. And to this day, Gary and his wife Tina are my friends. Chris is now married to Alice, but it turns out that Chris has some issues due to his weight and Alice had some problems due to drug use and they can't have kids. And worse's been over 10 years since all of this happened...yet Chris still carries a grudge over all of this.

I'm happy that Chris and Alice married...I'm sad they can't experience the joy of having children, but I'm most sad that Chris never moved beyond all of this. I forgave him a LONG time ago, but every once in a while, his name comes up in conversation when I'm chatting with Gary or Tina and I wonder about why he can't let it go.

Seems to me that he set himself up a long time ago by telling me he couldn't be friends with a girl. When he realized that we were indeed good friends, he panicked and had to find a way out. The only way out was to hurt me.

Chris and Alice...if you are reading this, you'll see yourselves in the name changes and characters here. And if I've never told you out loud (though I tried), I forgive you...both of you.


Sue said...

Wow hon, painful monday memory..........i hope they do read it and see themselves in it. There are days that no matter what we do or what we say, we are wrong, we can't win...........

saintseester said...

Something similar happened to me once. I had a good friend (we were close since we were about 15.) He even made a pass at me once, and after fending him off, we laughed a bit and decided friends was the best way to be. Later he had a serious girlfriend. After a couple of years she was telling me she thought she needed to move on. She wasn't in love and wanted to move to a different state. Well, later he found out about that conversation, said I had "turned" her against him and never forgave me for not talking her into staying.

I think love can blind us to the others that love us, too.

Jennie said...

Grudges can hurt so bad, huh? I wish Chris could give it up, but it sounds like he has other issues that are holding him back. Nice blog! :)

Jennie said...

Oops, Michele sent moi.