Tuesday, April 07, 2009

totally rude...

So...I took the kids to Target today to spend the gift cards that had been given to them from Auntie Sue and Auntie Donna for Christmas (yeah, I KNOW Christmas was 4 months ago...for the record, we had our package from S & D late, they waited (at my request) until we'd moved into our new home before sending anything.)

The kids carefully picked out what they wanted (with a few guidelines from mom: no DS games and no Lego Star Wars sets for awhile - I have a headache!). Scotty picked out 3 Star Wars books, and the Star Wars Clone gun (he got the clone outfit for his birthday, so he's all set now). Hannah picked out 2 Junie B. Jones books, the larger Rosetta Fairy (Disney Fairies) doll, and a Littlest Pet Shop set (the Whale and the Snail).

I had a few other things to gather. The kids were insistent on "paying for their own" with the gift cards, so I said they could. As we got to the registers, there were long lines everywhere. I was waiting in one line that had 3 people ahead of me. I waited patiently, getting the kids' stuff sorted so each could load their items on the belt, (Scotty had already put his things on) and was getting their gift cards out of my purse when the lady at the register said to me, "you need to go to another register, my light's closed and my register is too."


First off...RUDENESS! Wowsers...she was just plain UGLY to us. And second, her "light" was on until my son started loading his things onto the belt. She was a young woman, and I was in the mood to just let it rip right out on her...but instead, I just grabbed Scotty's neatly placed and carefully aligned items (he took great pride in doing that, too - he was quite upset with me) and went to the next register, which had no line, LUCKILY (or I would have been REALLY angry). The older woman working there was shaking her head; she saw the entire thing happen. She said that the girl at the register should have taken me. She turned off her light AFTER I was in line. She should have told me she was closed before we got up to her and unloaded. At least I had some sympathy there.

It truly was unacceptable, and I probably should have requested a manager and complained, but when I have my kids with me, they don't have the patience to sit (or stand) quietly while I'm dealing with adult things (they think it's their license to go completely out of control, thereby driving me batty!) . Needless to say, I'm still quite fired up about it all....grrrr!!!

And on another front:

Yesterday, we went to Kroger. (I got some great deals, BTW!) As we were leaving, there was a woman outside of her van, just ranting and raving. At first, I thought she was talking to me, but I ignored her. When she continued, I realized she was having a conversation with someone. I didn't see a phone, so I thought maybe it was a bluetooth...but she was evidently ranting to someone sitting in her van.

As I was loading stuff into the car, Scotty asked me, "what's a stupid foreigner?"

HUH??? Which is exactly what I exclaimed! Scotty said he had heard that woman out there saying bad things (yes, she was quite foul-mouthed) about a "stupid foreigner" (mind you, he's got a bit of a speech impediment, so it was more like "stoopit fohwenah").

I told him to hush and I'd be right in; I was going to put the cart in the cart return (yes, I do this EVERY time, too...put those carts away!).

I overheard the woman going on and on about dumb slant-eyes, and non-English speaking chinks...and it made me ANGRY. Such racist remarks! I figured it out quite quickly...the woman in the car next to her apparently scraped her car when she was pulling out. The "foreign" woman was likely of Pacific Island decent...I wasn't close enough to say if she was Asian or Islander, but it really didn't matter. She could HEAR the other woman ranting about her.

And what made it worse? The woman who was ranting was black. She was spouting racist remarks against someone, yet she has likely been the victim of racism herself. But instead of learning something from her past (I'm just going out on a limb and assuming that she's probably had some effect of racism in her life, okay?), she just perpetuated racial slurs.

And to top it all off? I had to explain this to my children, who had the misfortune of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I told the kids that the woman in the white car had likely caused a small accident and the woman in the van was just really really mad and was calling names and using words she shouldn't have been using. I also used it as a teaching point...that just because someone is different, doesn't mean you have to point those differences out, or label them.

It's just a shame...but it was a good chance to teach my kids...and it showed ME just how far *I* have come in my views on race and foul language!


Kim said...

Wow! That Kroger lady wouldn've set me off too. Ugh! Don't they realize YOU and I are why she even has a job? OK...I'm impressed that you handled it so well.
As far as the other incident, it reminds me of what happened in our neighborhood yesterday. A 15 yr. old who lives in our subdivision got angry at a black kid (who I'd say is 8 or 9) down the street and called him that ugly N word. You know what I mean. It was totally uncalled for...no matter what the little boy had done. I'm telling ya, we've got to learn to LOVE our neighbors!

Kim said...

Oh...by the way, I Love your new blog background. It's beautiful!

Barbara said...

I get rudeness all the time up here. It comes from soldiers and their families with chips on their shoulders because they've been sent to the arctic wasteland.

Melissa Sue said...

Unfortunately, it seems racism is worse in the south, and it is perpetuated by people of ALL races, despite the stereotypes that white people are the only racist ones. It's totally frustrating to me, too.

The Mrs. said...

wow, I'm always torn in situations like that. Part of me wants to speak up and part of me is afraid if they are that much of a loose cannon they could beat me silly and not give it another thought.

Bob-kat said...

I put shopping trolleys (carts) away too :)

I would have been mad as hell about the shop incident as well. That was plain unacceptable and rude. I hate rudeness. In fact, I would most likley walk out and leave the things on the belt! (I know you couldn't).

As for the ranting rascist...words fail me.

Christy said...

Target, rudeness just really irks me, glad the other associate saw her and recognized what she did was wrong. Did you happen to notice her name tag so you could call the manager?

As far as the Kogers incident, completely unacceptable. No reason for it at all, disgusting. Racism no matter who it's from or who it's about is always disgusting imo.