Friday, May 11, 2007

What makes you a Mother???

What makes me a mother? Well, by virtue of a few gifts from God, my children are the START of making me a mother. But having children does NOT make you a mother. There are a lot of kids out there who could argue that point in court and win a unanimous decision.

What makes ME a mother...well, the ability to hear my children's tiniest peeps, squeaks, moans, shuffles. I can be in their rooms in a matter of seconds if my "mommy hearing" kicks in.

I have been known to catch vomit before it hits the floor/carpet/ carseat. I have been seen riding backwards in my seat, NO SEATBELT on, holding puke in my hands while my husband finds a place to pull over at 5:00 a.m. on a dark highway heading to visit family. I have slept on a hardwood floor next to my sick son, so that if he even HINTS at throwing up, I will be there with a bucket and a lot of "it's okay sweetie...let it out, you'll feel better". I will accept the smelly breath that accompanies the "tank-yew mama"...and the ensuing kiss that will assure the illness is passed to me. God, though, is always good, because he waits till the illness has run its course through the rest of the family before I get it, so that I can take care of my kids.

What makes me a mom is that I am the "mean mom" in the neighborhood. I am the one who is out there telling the kids to get out of the ditch, watch for the cars, get out of the mud, put down that bug/stick/critter and don't EVEN think about putting that in your mouth. The meanest mom in the neighborhood makes her kids come in at 7:00 p.m. to get ready for bed, even though the other 8 kids in the neighborhood are STILL outside playing. I answer the questions easily enough, "Their parents have different rules than us. We come in and go to bed early." I deal with the whining and crying and "it's not fair"...because I love my kids and want them to know that no matter what they think, I am looking out for them.

What makes me a mom is when I go shopping, I can't resist things for my kids. I don't buy them large, expensive toys and electronics. I get them things that make them use their minds. I encourage them to do it on their own, so that they can feel the sense of accomplishment that comes with doing something good, by themselves. They get the loads of praise and realize that even when it's hard, if they put their best effort forward, they will accomplish whatever it is to which they set their minds.

I am a mother because I won't take any guff. There are way more punishments than I would like. I don't accept backtalk, whining, disobedience. I don't punish with hitting, slapping, punching...I take away what they want most. My children will tell you that I don't pull any punches. One of the neighborhood moms said to me just last night, "You don't even give her a "get out of jail free" card?? I give my son at least FIVE warnings before I take action." I've learned, by trial and error, that this doesn't work. So the kids know I mean business, and are stronger for it.

I'm NOT a mean mom, I'm a caring mom. I love my kids. Vomit, snot, poop, diapers, drool, sticky kisses, well-aimed and badly timed arm swings (especially after abdominal surgery)...none of this will stop me from loving my children. I want more for them than what I had. I think ALL mothers want this.

I'm a mother because my kids love me enough to trust me with their lives. They may not like me now, but I hope that some day, they will take the time to thank me for what I gave them.

Check out Parent Bloggers Network and lightiris for more information on this Blog Blast!


craziequeen said...

I can (and have!) done all of those things......yet have no children of my own.
I have 'mommy hearing' and will wake at the sound of a child....

And I am eagerly awaiting baby #1 of my 7th family to care for...

Michele sent me to see this heart-warming post.

Charmaine (CharmWarm on SCS) said...

What a beautiful post! Thanks for sharing!

Blue Monkey Jammies said...

Thank you for sharing that post. It was a great read.

Here via Michele today.

Becky68 said...

Very well put! & all too true, we're mean because we care. They Don't get that til later though.
Thanks for stopping by my blog, that picture you commented on of my son in hat & coat it was taken Easter weekend! It was cold here in Virginia that weekend & we were on the Blue Ridge Parkway so the wind was making it worse!

Butterfly Wife said...

Happy Mother's Day!

rennratt said...

Amen, my sister.

Nooze is no fan of 7 pm bedtimes, either.

I always figured that I would be "The Spanking Mom". I am surprised to find that I am NOT, and reserve spanking for only the worst behavior. (Generally one swat does it).

Since Nooze is a...well, nooze (snuggler) - bed time cuddles are cherished. Taking them away hurts her more than any swat on her bottom.

One last thing - Dollar Tree has CDs (PDF format) that help with Phonics, Addition, Subtraction and Spelling. Your kids may really enjoy them (or I could just email them to you...)

Happy Mothers Day!